IFS Therapy as a Map
Internal Family Systems (IFS) isn’t about ‘fixing’ you because you’re not actually broken. IFS therapy sees humans as complex beings with an entire internal system of “parts.” It’s this systemic lens that provides a map that can help us navigate our inner & outer worlds with Clarity & care. Some of our parts take on protective roles: doing their best to keep us safe in the only way they know how. Some hold really negative beliefs & emotions & feel like they’re suffering alone. The good news is they’re not alone.
Meet your Self
Somewhere beyond all that noise, there’s something deeper: the Self. The lantern that can light the way & bring relief & healing to our parts. The goal of IFS therapy isn’t to silence or get rid of our parts but to Connect with them from our wisest Self, listen to their concerns, understand what they’re trying so hard to protect us from & help them to feel safe enough to relax. When that happens, they naturally let our Self take the lead, bringing greater Clarity & harmony to our inner & outer lives.
Meet your parts
There are ‘no bad parts’. it turns out that even the ones that feel chaotic, harsh or miserable have good intentions. Some take on extreme roles, others carry extreme beliefs. We can bring relief to them all.
The Protective Managers
Manager parts are proactive: the strategists & organisers who are here to make sure we never again risk our safety/belonging/self worth. This means they’re usually behind that inner voice pushing us to keep meeting all the shoulds, oughts & musts we’ve been told & believe are true. Unfortunately, the more they push us into overachieving, perfectionism & overthinking the closer we get to blowing a fuse or collapsing with exhaustion.
The Protective Firefighters
Firefighter parts are reactive: pulling out all stops to provide immediate relief in the face of a crisis. When emotions become intense, they rush in to put out the fire. When we find ourselves scrolling for hours or consuming things we don’t need that’s a Firefighter part trying to distract us from whatever feels overwhelming in the moment. Firefighters aren’t concerned with the long-term. They will do whatever it takes to stop the pain NOW.
The Exiles
Exiles are the parts of us holding onto deep emotional pain & negative beliefs from the past. From the times we felt hurt, rejected, powerless or unworthy. They carry heavy feelings like shame, sadness & fear, which is why our Protectors (Managers & Firefighters) work so hard to keep them locked away. But here’s the thing: these parts need healing, not hiding. These are the most sensitive parts of ourselves that, once healed, can bring delight & sheer joy to our lives.
How Does IFS Therapy Actually Work?
In an IFS session, we don’t just rehash whats concerning you, we actually do something about it. We bring Curiosity to the parts of you that are stressing out or causing chaos & find out what they need. Until we start listening to them, these parts will remain stuck in these cycles of protection & avoidance.
We begin by identifying a part that’s giving you grief(list all of the strategies & habits you’d rather not be doing). You’ll be supported to bring your Self into Connection with it. The Self that has the capacity to stay Curious & listen to the part instead of letting it run the show. What’s life changing is when we start listening, these parts will tell us what they need to soften and give us the room to show up as the leader of our own lives.
IFS Therapy might be right for you…
If you’ve read the self-help books, or had other attempts at therapy but nothing has shifted the dial, IFS offers an effective, gentle & Compassionate way to get to the source of the problem. It helps us understand the why behind our behaviours & emotions & provides a map for the ‘how’ of changing our dysfunctional patterns. It empowers us to Connect to our own inner wisdom, bringing harmony & healing to the parts of us that are longing to be heard.
IFS helps you:
Shift relationship patterns: IFS helps us have more choice when we’re faced with challenges. It creates space for sitting with all our different thoughts, needs & concerns before responding.
Be the real you: instead of being driven by different(often conflicting) agendas or frantic, perfectionist/anxious/frustrated energy, you’ll feel Calmer, more Confident & more Connected to your true Self.
Lead in your own life: no more waiting for others to change so you can be happy. IFS empowers you to step into Self leadership.
How Long Does IFS Therapy Take?
IFS isn’t a quick fix. Real change takes time. You might feel some relief after the first few sessions but that relief isn’t the finish line: it’s the starting point. After a sense of disconnection from our wisest Self we can start the steady work of bringing all of our parts home.
I offer IFS therapy online and in person for individuals who live in Canberra, across Australia & internationally (excluding Canada & the USA).